You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
