So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
