your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
