I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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