im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
