Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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