OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm passing your future prison.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
