We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
