So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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