Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
