no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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