P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
