I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
