if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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