I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Drunk is not a location!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
