He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
