Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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