Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
