Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
