You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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