the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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