Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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