Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
