Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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