Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
