I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I cut my penus on the lid.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
