Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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