I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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