worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Randomize
