We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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