dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
