I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
