If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
