Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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