I hope mine doesn't look like that
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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