What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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