i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i came on her dog
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Let's get the cat blown out
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
