please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
