Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
