i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just pee around me
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
