in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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