he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
