We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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