he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize
