please come you make the beer taste better
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My feet surprised me
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