dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He better not be in your backpack
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
