i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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