Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
