How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I want a musical about memes.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
