I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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